There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
