my phone needs a breathalizer
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize