We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
