STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
