Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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