A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
