Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You can't motorboat a personality
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize