Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
then he tried to convert me to islam
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
