I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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