If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
