More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
