worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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