did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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