you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
