ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
