Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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