I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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