Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
