Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
