i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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