U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
