Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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