You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
