Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
