are you still at the devil's house?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
