I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
