Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize