Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
