she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
