I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I could make wine with my vomit
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
