when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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