This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i believe in u and ur pee
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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