Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
