Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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