why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
