stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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