Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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