i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
