Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had sex on a roof
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
