Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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