I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
