Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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