oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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