It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
