i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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