I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
