what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
