The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize