i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
