no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
