she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
