He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
