Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she told me i tasted like america
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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