How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
