butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
