the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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