so that wasnt chicken after all
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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