Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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