roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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