Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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