If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
